tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post6796603041094171294..comments2023-08-26T20:08:25.993+08:00Comments on Opinionation: Autism Really Is No ExcuseGracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09570841904308934998noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-71645774900943479212013-05-28T21:14:43.028+08:002013-05-28T21:14:43.028+08:00I obviously don't have autism. But for whateve...I obviously don't have autism. But for whatever reason I do find social interactions challenging, in that what seems obvious to other people had to be learned by me, explicitly. I have all these various rules to help me with social interactions (like how to respond if someone tells me X). Just going with my impulse is not a good option, partly because it's going to be the wrong thing, and partly because I often would just have no clue. Sometimes it feels rather mechanical to me, but luckily most people are not that conscious of others' mental states and thus do not notice. <br /><br />This is to say that I identify with your description of learning to "live a normal life": ie, faking it successfully. Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09570841904308934998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-14045534633596888972013-05-25T06:07:49.765+08:002013-05-25T06:07:49.765+08:00As autistic, I had to LEARN to wait when I had to....As autistic, I had to LEARN to wait when I had to. <br /><br />My mom taught this to me.<br />The only excuse that mum could have, is if the kid urged to go to bathroom.<br /><br />You may know someone with autism. But sometimes is not easy to recognize someone with HFA, because they do their best to learn to live a normal life.AliceNorthernLightshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04462871511541914849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-3225232857665136522012-08-01T06:24:43.034+08:002012-08-01T06:24:43.034+08:00I didn't read the blog post either, but my imm...I didn't read the blog post either, but my immediate thought that maybe he doesn't have bladder control (I didn't either for a long, long time). I know very little about autism as well, but I believe one of the effects is a lack of empathy, which means that the individual may not only be physically compromised, but they are unable to understand why they need to wait in a long line in the first place. <br /><br />Plus think of the social stigma. If your newly trainer toddler messes their pants, everyone understands. If an older child does, everyone feels uncomfortable and if his peers see he may be teased and bullied.Jennahttp://thatwifeblog.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-21977535081514526282012-07-31T04:24:34.483+08:002012-07-31T04:24:34.483+08:00The difference is your toddler will eventually rea...The difference is your toddler will eventually realize that a public meltdown wont help anything and that to use the bathroom sometimes means waiting in lines... and the autistic child will not. Retaining these types of social pressures are not going to impact him as much or if they do, it wont be as quick or easy as an average toddlers' progression. Its important to note that it is called and autism spectrum, so there are so many variations and problems and intensities that it is impossible to know how that child functions without being a part of that child's life. I love my life giving people the benefit of the doubt - I am thankful to not have a bladder problem and can easily wait one or two more minutes.Jessica @ One Shiny Starhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17400983047819196212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-83378199243957533512012-07-30T22:25:24.078+08:002012-07-30T22:25:24.078+08:00That's a good point that she might have been w...That's a good point that she might have been worried about an accident. It didn't sound like it from the post, but maybe she wouldn't want to post that online? Funny how saying something like her son has bladder control issues would probably have gotten her much more sympathy: the bias generally against psychological ailments (as opposed to physical ones) is so strong.Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09570841904308934998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-65419838521030095942012-07-30T22:23:12.877+08:002012-07-30T22:23:12.877+08:00Thanks so much for sharing your personal experienc...Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience. You are right that I don't have much (any, really) experience with autism. It does sound very challenging for everyone involved, but especially the parents (one reason I felt like a jerk for thinking these thoughts, since obviously the mother of an autistic child already has a very hard row to hoe).<br /><br />I do agree with you completely that everyone, even those with disabilities, has the right to experience the world. That's why the waiting thing seems so important to me, because being unable to wait means that you are unable to participate in most common experiences (since they all involve waiting). <br /><br />What confuses me is the difference between being autistic and being a toddler (this sounds bad, I just mean in this instance). R doesn't understand why she has to wait either, and can't talk (except to say "no", her new favorite word). And of course she has tantrums. But if I change my behavior significantly (like by not making her wait), then she will just fall out of practice. While a full-on tantrum is bad (since no learning is possible in such an agitated state), doing things that she finds extremely challenging (like waiting) is immensely valuable, because then she is pushing her limits and developing new skills. <br /><br />It sounds like this is what your family does with your brother (encouraging taking public transportation, a stressful/triggering experience for most neurotypical people). I just felt that the blogger wasn't doing this enough with her son, especially considering the central importance of waiting in virtually every sphere of life.<br /><br />I hope that everyone (including myself) can show grace and understanding to autistic people (and everyone, really). I want to remember that I can never know what challenges others may be facing, so being as tolerant and kind as I can is always important.Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09570841904308934998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-69994203257570305242012-07-30T10:49:21.023+08:002012-07-30T10:49:21.023+08:00I didn't read the blog, but from personal expe...I didn't read the blog, but from personal experiences working with autistism, there are so many things that could have been going on. Children with autism usually have communication problems, ie: they cant communicate things well when there is anything going on. I suspect what may have happened is the child waited to long to imply that they needed to potty, and the longer they waited in line the longer the mom had to worry about ruining the day for the family, because an accident might mean leaving the park or event and returning to the hotel.Jessica @ One Shiny Starhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17400983047819196212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794836422803225879.post-27502730392114825712012-07-30T09:42:46.179+08:002012-07-30T09:42:46.179+08:00While your reasoning is very logical, it is very c...While your reasoning is very logical, it is very clear that you have not had as much real experience with an autistic individual. As someone who has lived with an autistic sibling for fifteen years, I feel the need to point out a few things. <br /><br />I don't know how serious the condition of this woman's son is, but my brother who is considered to be on a lower level of severity autism wise does have a problem with waiting. It doesn't means he can't wait; if told sternly, he understands that he must wait, but he is unable to express his displeasure because <br />a) he doesn't understand the concept of having to wait in the first place<br />b) he cannot properly form the sentences to express how he feels. <br /><br />And so, what can result, depending on his mood that day, is a tandrum that ranges from whining to a full blown scream-fest. it isn't pleasant, and even less so in a public place. We do not encourage these tandrums, and we never stop trying to teach him to behanve appropriately in public, but depending on the situation (some environments cause him more stress than others), he can react badly. We believe that they are lessening and continue to work with him in hopes of limiting public reactions as much as possible. <br /><br />What the writer may have been trying to do was prevent such a senario. <br /><br />I do agree that maybe she should take steps to train her child in waiting and patience, but it can take year and years before he is able to understand or actively practice restraint without discipline or coercing and he is still young. With two other young children, it can be very hard to constantly enforce things.<br /><br />My brother is fifteen and growing bigger and bigger. For the most part, he behaves very well in public and is learning tackle public transport. Even so, he does talk aloud in public and he will fail to heed or sense the needs of others. <br /><br /><br />While some might say that she shouldn't bring her child out in the first place, I have to disagree. I feel that every child, or person, for that matter, has the right to go out and experience the world. Not everyone may understand the reasons why they act the way they do, but I don't think it means they have any less right to use public areas than anyone else. As citizens of our country and a human being, they should be allowed to step out and learn to manage the world. <br /><br />It may cause inconvenience or annoyance to other people, and we make sure to apologize when it does, but I dream of the day everyone is educated well enough on Autism that the public can show grace and understanding.------https://www.blogger.com/profile/01439823264042772213noreply@blogger.com