Today was not a very good parenting day, and now that it's done I am totally exhausted. How things went wrong:
1. I woke up with a bad attitude. I got up with R as always, went through the whole usual morning routine, and then like always went to wake up B. But instead of continuing on with the day, I crawled back into bed and hid there (making B get up with R instead). I didn't really sleep: I just couldn't face the thought of yet another day doing more of the same toddler stuff.
2. R is into everything, all the time. Eventually I had to get up. I made breakfast and fed R, running around doing the usual million-chores-at-once thing. I made myself coffee, and was waiting to drink it until she was fed, cleaned and safely playing: but just as I was almost ready, R decided to climb up on one of the dining room chairs to see what I was doing and accidentally knocked over the very large cup of coffee, spilling it all over the just-washed clothes there (waiting for me to iron them).
3. I lost my temper, and screamed at her. Because this is only the third or fourth time this has happened, R was really upset and burst into tears immediately. Bad parenting choice, especially because she hadn't actually done anything naughty (she is allowed to be on the chairs, and knocking the cup over was an accident). We made up (she needed some hug time after the trauma) but it still sucked.
4. I didn't plan anything for today. Usually we are very busy, but I neglected to make any plans for this weekend. That means we just hung out at home, which I dislike. It means more housework for me (as R is home all day to make a mess), more boredom (as I can't do any of the house-based activities I enjoy, like reading, and am not out experiencing other things), and a harder time parenting (because R then bothers me to entertain her, which means I am constantly redirecting her/going over the rules for behavior etc.). For one day it's fine, as R enjoys the rare opportunity to play with her toys, but after a few days of it, things become sticky.
5. R has a cold. This means she is whinier and more fussy than usual, and her ability to tolerate frustration (generally in the form of me not allowing her to do stuff) is much smaller.
The day wasn't all bad: R and I went for a walk around the condo in the morning, and in the afternoon, swimming, which we both enjoyed; we talked to my parents via Skype; B and I had a good conversation while R was napping. But mostly it was one of those days that seems like it will never end.
Tomorrow R has a playdate in the morning, preschool in the afternoon, and I am leaving the house early to attend a class, so things should be a lot better. I guess I will see!