I was pretty nervous about being a mother since I had never done anything like it before, and didn't have any experience whatsoever with babies (all my quasi-parenting experience was with preschoolers and older). Little R is only 6 weeks old, so I still have a lot of time to learn about it, and challenges to face. That said, it has been surprisingly easy so far. She fusses/whines/cries/screams whenever she wants something (in that order of how much she wants it), and so far she only wants a few things: a new diaper; milk; to be picked up and cuddled; help with digestion (like burping); help with her temperature (really meaning more/less clothes); something to suck on. So it's actually very simple, because one just tries each of these things until one works. Sometimes she is very fussy and cannot be easily comforted (my theory is that this usually has to do with her digestion or nervous system feeling jangled), but since she does not have colic (thank goodness!), a combination of cuddling, swaddling (which is really just another form of cuddling), bouncing, white noise and something to suck on will fix it eventually. Caring for a baby is much simpler than caring for older children since they are such simple creatures.
I think things have been relatively easy for me so far because all factors are in my favor:
1. R is a mellow baby (not easily upset by things), so she is easy to take care of;
2. B is home all day even if he is working, so he is always available to give me a break; B is also very supportive and helpful, and will take R whenever I am having a hard time: he is a very involved father;
3. my family is close by and have come by to help or give me a break multiple times (this week was the first that one of them wasn't over at least once to babysit/watch R)
4. I am not working and have no other children, so all I have to do is take care of R and maintain the household (which since we live in an apartment and have no pets is not that onerous; we even have a dishwasher and laundry in the building for extra ease). I do all the household chores (shopping, cleaning, etc) but B does all the cooking, which is very nice.
5. R doesn't have any special needs; she is healthy and normal (and full-term), which also makes her easier to care for.
6. We don't have any financial troubles, health issues, or significant relationship problems to stress about. B's career/work and R are all I have to worry about. (Of course there is the upcoming move to Singapore, but I haven't started to prepare for that yet.)
7. My recovery from birth was quick and I didn't have any problems breastfeeding: more lack of stress.
She has had difficulty eating lately, which got much worse the past couple days; every time she ate she would cry, which made mealtimes very stressful for both of us. I took her to the pediatrician today, and apparently she has acid reflux and must take medicine. Hopefully this will fix the problem. But even with the acid reflux, it was relatively easy to comfort her (always less than 10 min) and she didn't have the hysterical crying that this can cause. She is such a mellow baby!
So mothering has been a lot easier than I was expecting it to be (everyone told me how horrible it was going to be for the first few months). I am sleep deprived, since R wakes up multiple times every night (and it's always me getting up with her since I am breastfeeding). But since I am good at napping, it hasn't been really awful, just somewhat unpleasant.
However, the fact that mothering is easy for me so far makes me feel nervous. I do have all the advantages listed, which many (most? I am not sure) people do not have. But the fact that literally everyone I knew told me how difficult it would be, and that it hasn't been that way at all, makes me feel that I am missing something important, and that the other shoe will drop at any moment. Why is my experience so different from everyone else's? Am I missing something important and neglecting R in some crucial way (which otherwise would make being a mother much more stressful)? Or maybe the worst will come any day, and it really will become terrible. This is not a helpful attitude, since I am just borrowing trouble most likely, but I do worry about it a lot.
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