Wednesday, June 22, 2011

New Mom Funk

I love being a mother, but I am feeling rather unenthusiastic about my appearance at the moment. My hair desperately needs a cut and color (hasn't been done since before little R's birth), my pedicure has grown out/chipped so that it looks terrible, I am still somewhat overweight (maybe 5 pounds now?), and my stomach is flabbier and sticks out more than it used to, which is definitely not a good look.

Basically I feel unattractive and slovenly. I do usually make an effort to look good every day (putting on makeup, dressing carefully: ie in matching clothes, no sweatpants), but often I feel like these efforts aren't really rewarded because I still have terrible hair and look fat.

I want to feel pretty again! It's hard to have confidence in myself, especially sexually (a couple nights ago we were having sex and I started to freak out in the middle because I thought B thought my stomach looked ugly: he didn't). So tomorrow I am going to get my hair done (finally! I am so happy about this). Maybe I can go get a pedicure/manicure on Thurs? (must ask B) before our trip. As far as the weight goes, I will just have to keep trying to eat right and exercise. B suggested that I get a personal trainer in Singapore, since we will have more money then, which I think is a great idea, and will certainly pursue once we are settled.

I meant to record what I ate every day, but then I went to Seattle and was busy. Starting again: 3 small pieces walnut bread with peanut butter and jam; 2 glasses chocolate soymilk; 3 pieces sourdough with lots of mayonnaise (gross!); one vegetarian burrito; large cup of horchata; many ricola cough drops/candies (also gross: if I want candy, I should really buy the real thing. But we are low on groceries and I couldn't leave the house as R is in bed sleeping and B is out working); glass of wine. Actually I didn't eat very much today, but it was not a good eating day (no protein/vegetables/fruit). I must go shopping!

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