Her post about her child's birthday party was pretty impressive too. Three cakes? A darling circus theme, complete with little tin animal decorations? Wow. It was all I could do to buy little R a cake and wrap some presents for her (it honestly didn't even occur to me to buy balloons until now, as I am typing. Why didn't I? Bad mother). I can't imagine having the wherewithal to pull off an elaborate themed party.
So anyway, I admired her and her family's life, and rather envied it all (especially because they live in my hometown of Oakland, California, where life is terribly terribly expensive; beautiful nurseries like that don't come cheap). A few days ago I checked out her blog again and was SHOCKED to read that she is getting divorced.
It was especially surprising because her husband wrote this post only a few months ago, in which he states,
I love my wife now more than ever before...Some couples encounter relationship difficulties after being parents for the first time, be it due to stress, uneven household workload, etc. Our relationship actually grew stronger. Don't get me wrong, we fought, and still do. However, I've never felt this close to Sara before.I didn't find this at all a surprising statement because I don't feel as if my marriage has really changed since having a baby, for better or worse. Now I am totally confused. How do you go from the above statement to divorce in only four months?
One of my biggest fears is getting divorced, not because it's at all likely (the statistical likelihood of us getting divorced is something like 5% or less; plus I can't imagine either of us being happy without the other, though of course things can change), but because it's basically the worst thing that can happen to a child. Stories like this give me chills. How does a divorce happen? How do people get to a place, where leaving your husband when you have a needy toddler and work as an artist (=don't make much money, no health insurance) in one of the United States' most expensive regions is the only thing to do?
People are hardly ever frank or forthcoming about the reasons for their divorce (by which I don't mean "He cheated on me!" but the relationship dynamic which led up to that point, and made you decide that the damage was irreparable), especially when they have kids. I can understand not wanting to air your dirty laundry, especially on a public forum like the Internet, but I desperately want to know how/why.
It is unlikely this blogger will be posting about it though. I hope everything works out for her and her child.