I haven't been writing much, partly because my laptop broke (R opened the door to the study, got a chair from the other room, and fetched my laptop off of the desk: but then she dropped it; obviously none of this was with my knowledge. Reason #500 a silent toddler is ominous.), and partly because I've felt really depressed lately.
I don't have a good reason: nothing bad has happened. Actually I feel incredibly guilty about being depressed, because my life is pretty posh. I don't have to work, we have enough money for all necessities plus plenty of extras, my husband is kind, supportive and loves me, my child is even-tempered, happy and healthy...My typical day consists of hanging out with my daughter doing fun activities or seeing our friends, various chores and light housework (B even does almost all the cooking), and between 5-6 hours of child free time (since R takes a 2-3 hour nap, and goes to bed at least three hours before I do). Being depressed in this situation just seems whiny.
I have lots of experience with being depressed though, so I know that logic (or guilt) are of no use in this situation. Instead of chastising myself for being ungrateful and spoiled, I need to focus on proper self-care and mental hygiene. This means sleeping better (going to bed earlier, for example), exercising far more, improving my diet, and being more careful to engage in productive/social activities only. Which means I have to cut down Internet time a lot, it being my time-waster of choice. (Blog posting usually makes me feel productive though, so I can do it if I don't get sucked in to reading numerous sites at the same time.)
Hopefully I will feel better soon and then can go back to eating gummies on the regular and wasting hours reading stupid celebrity gossip.