Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Becoming a Better Person

Today I feel really tired. B has been very depressed lately, partly because he quit smoking about a month ago, and partly because he has a great many work-related responsibilities, and is not satisfied with his progress on them. In his job there aren't clear expectations or tasks that must be completed; rather, pretty much everything must be defined and pursued independently. This aids both excessive procrastination (nothing must be done immediately) and angst (since when there aren't any boundaries, it means you should always be working)

We haven't yet reached a stable point in Singapore where we are both satisfied with the tenor of our existence and have found a happy routine. So everything feels like a work in progress: B has a huge to do list and self improvements to make, and so do I. At the same time, I promised to help him with his to do list (since after all I am not working).

I think most of the changes we've decided to make are really positive and necessary, and we will be both happier and better people once we've done it. But I also feel a little overwhelmed, because at times I feel like caring for little R and keeping myself and the house in some semblance of order is just about as much as I want to handle. (I realize this is rather wussy, as most other people have jobs, multiple children or other responsibilities, and seem to manage a lot more than that.)

Some of the changes we've committed to:
-regular exercise (almost every day if possible) for both of us
-finishing all household settling projects (getting a printer, completely child proofing, hanging up all decorations for example)
-more productive activity (for B, this includes getting papers finished/published; for me, this includes reading (books, not the internet) more and studying my languages)
-creating a budget, tracking all our spending, and being more frugal
-having a daily/weekly routine which works for both of us (instead of creating everything from scratch constantly)
-fighting bad habits (for B, quitting smoking among other things; for me, ceasing to yell/start fights as a way to deal with general life stress, among other things)

My hope is that if we make a little progress each day, and don't get discouraged, then it will soon add up and we'll be in a better position.

Weight Loss Progress:
--Exercise: Will do yoga video tonight, as soon as I finish posting (I did in fact do the whole hour!). Did not walk for 30 min (didn't have time today).
--Diet: breakfast was half a baguette with olive oil and vinegar; Lunch: a whopper from Burger King and a small fries (bad choice: I was really pressed for time but still not good); Dinner: Pork dumpling soup; cooked water spinach (or morning glory? it's hard to tell the difference); cold tofu salad; Dessert: gummi bears (also a bad choice, they were stale and not very good); Snack: some bread with mayonnaise. Drinks: bubble tea, a cocktail. Not a good eating day: it's hard for me to feed myself when B isn't around. I should learn to cook.
--Other: Drank water but not enough: work on this; no frappucino but did have dessert.

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