Having a Very Active Toddler

R poised to take a leap

I am a pretty unathletic person. In grade school I was invariably last to be picked for any team (which did not bother me at all, my lack of skill for team sports was only matched by my disinterest in them). My parents tried to keep me active and at various times I took swimming, gymnastics, dance and tennis lessons; while I enjoyed them for the most part, nothing really took and I remained supremely physically non-talented. For example, even though I had years of swim lessons (including private lessons for a summer when I proved too retarded to learn in a class setting), I can still barely swim and never learned how to do the front crawl stroke properly.

Nothing's really changed in adulthood. I go to the gym (with reluctance), because it's good for me, but I hate running, sweating, sports, lifting anything heavy and physical tasks in general. I have fantasized about buying a mobility scooter for sightseeing, so that I could cover more ground with less work (museum visiting tends to be tiring!).

With that said, I am not sure how I ended up with a child like R. She loves all physical activity--climbing, dancing, running, jumping, kicking balls, swimming--and goes out of her way to engage in it whenever possible. She never walks if she can run, and if she can climb something, she will. Typically, R bustles about the house, immensely busy with her various projects (like moving stools to reach things on the counter, rearranging the couch, or packing bags full of toys and other objects until they are so heavy she can barely lift them).

Typical way she gets around

Other people typically describe her as "active", "lively","energetic" or my favorite, a "dynamo" (what her teachers call her). I am often surprised by how relatively sedate other toddlers are (especially here in Singapore: Asian babies for whatever reason tend to be quite low energy and non physical). She doesn't have any hyperactivity or focusing issues: she just has a lot of energy!

She loves doing this, just for kicks

And this: climbing a high railing at the zoo, rather to the horror of the surrounding Singaporeans

None of this is really a problem (though it does mean R requires more supervision than average). It just seems so foreign: doesn't that make her tired? Wouldn't she rather just sit in the shade and do some quiet activity? (No.) Perhaps she takes after my mother and grandmother (both highly energetic women). As a more low energy person, my mother's constant bustling and endless to-do list have always filled me with a combination of awe, vicarious exhaustion, and puzzlement.

A lot of kids have a similar reaction to R, like this little girl. Who is that crazy redhead?

Tree Top Walk, MacRitchie Reservoir

Every Sunday B, little R and I try to go on a family outing. (We schedule this because B is very busy, and I think it's important for us to spend time together doing something fun and out of the normal routine.)

This Sunday we went to MacRitchie Reservoir Park. The main attraction of the park is the Tree Top Walk, which is a free-standing suspension bridge 25 meters above the rainforest floor. Apparently it cost more than $2 million to construct. It took us about three hours of continuous rather strenuous hiking to reach the Walk, but it was worth it! The view was amazing.

The rainforest is so dense that when you're hiking in it, your visibility is reduced to a few feet. Getting an opportunity to see it as the animals and birds do let me appreciate its lushness and fecundity so much better.

Unfortunately, after we'd admired the view and taken photos, we had to hike home. I was so tired by the end that it was an effort just to put one foot in front of the other. (Poor B had to haul 20 pounds of fat baby the whole way, so he was pretty tired too.) It was definitely a good workout, and a good reminder that I need to get more exercise!

Why Parents Don't Exercise

Recent research shows that new parents (with children 5 or under) have about an hour/day less of physical activity. Perhaps not surprisingly, this results in mothers (though not fathers, for some reason) being significantly fatter than women who are otherwise similar (age/race/ethnicity/income etc.). Mothers also eat more fat and sugary drinks than non-mothers, for about 400 extra calories/day.

I have noticed this same phenomenon in myself. I exercised most days while I was pregnant, even in the last few months, and was pretty active pre-pregnancy (I went to the gym at least 4 days/week). However, since little R was born I have had a lot of trouble motivating myself to exercise. I did go to the gym tonight (because I asked B to help me go, and he made me), but it's the first time I have had any exercise whatsoever in about a week. We have lived here for over a month, and I have been to the (nice, onsite, free) gym maybe 5 times.

The problem is that I only have a limited amount of willpower. All day long, I must draw on my willpower reserves to do things that are somewhat unpleasant: changing poopy diapers, getting up at 2 am to feed little R, cleaning up after she "ate" and spread food all over herself, her high chair and the floor. And while playing with her or dressing her isn't intrinsically unpleasant, I have to do those things on her schedule, rather than when I feel like it.

By the time the day is over at 8 pm, I am somewhat physically tired, but more importantly, my willpower has all been used up. All I want to do is surf the internet, watch movies or do something else requiring very little brainpower (even reading a book is often too taxing, sad as that is). If B needs something, I am able to summon my willpower reserves and help him with it, but this is only because I am so fond of him (everyone else is out of luck). Apparently I am not equally fond of my physical health.

Also, because I usually feel mentally tired, I want to "pamper" myself and give myself little indulgences. This impulse is fine, but unfortunately the easiest way to indulge myself is to eat fatty or sugary (or both! chocolate I love you) food, so I end up eating lots of unhealthy, caloric things. Eating cucumber slices with vinegar, while tasty, just doesn't have the same connotation of a treat. I think the only reason I am not really fat is because I'm breastfeeding.

I am not sure exactly what to do about my problem. I don't want to be fat and unhealthy. On the other hand, there is no way to make parenting an infant less demanding of one's willpower. In fact, as she grows to be a toddler, everything I have heard leads me to believe that the reverse is true. Convincing myself that exercise is fun and eating vegetables is decadent would be the best solution, but since I have hated all forms of physical activity since I was in grade school and would live on ice cream in a perfect world, this outcome is unlikely.

Probably the best thing to do is: 1. keep limited amounts of "treats" in the house (since I can't go out after 8 pm anyway) and 2. delegate the willpower necessary for my exercise to B. He will just have to make me go exercise, like today, unpleasant as that is. (Acting like a stern parent to an ungrateful and whiny spouse is not on anyone's wish list.) Sorry B! At least he will benefit if I am in shape, so his effort won't be entirely wasted.