We've Moved!

We are moved in to our new place!! which is a total mess, boxes and bags everywhere. Plus they didn't clean it thoroughly before we moved in, meaning the floors are all grimy and turn my feet black (like everyone else in Singapore, we don't wear shoes indoors: even the movers always take off their shoes before entering. It's strange to watch them haul couches and huge boxes barefoot.)

Last time we unpacked I was by myself with an infant (B was in Japan) and it still only took two days to be moved in, because I can't stand looking at boxes. But I am just going to have to get over my OCD tendencies, because we are leaving for the US in two days and completely unpacking is not realistic.

We each have our own room (a study for B, R's bedroom, and now the extra bedroom for me: I put the bookcases in there, hahaha!). Plus a master suite, balcony, storage room and three bathrooms. It's overkill, but the options were either a tiny two bedroom (with no space for guests, and the other bedroom was about the size of a closet) or this size.

I have to be careful not to fill up the increased space with new purchases, if only because theoretically I think waste, consumerism and materialism are wicked. I do hate owning stuff (though I love buying it: very sad thing to say about myself): it's such a hassle to transport/maintain. I must remember this when next tempted to go on a shopping spree at Ikea.

No More Baths for R?

We are moving next month (just before we board the plane for a 18 hour flight and three week vacation: not looking forward to this). The new apartment is also in a modern high-rise (we will be on the 17th floor there, instead of the 20th), in the same neighborhood. The actual space is similar too: three bedrooms, living/dining area, tiny kitchen, maid's quarters...In general the variety of housing options in Singapore is smaller than in the US.

R in the bath: she used to be frightened of the bubbles but now she likes them

In some ways the new place is nicer. Advantages: terrace area (though since R can't be out there unsupervised, it's not a unmixed blessing); oven; brand new appliances; dedicated study for B (meaning the third bedroom can have some other function than a computer/paper cavern); better on-site convenience store (the new one sells fresh produce and cheese). Still no dishwasher (because doesn't everyone have a maid???).

Busy dumping water onto the floor

The main disadvantage is that there's no bathtub. I am really sad about this because R loves baths and takes one with her father almost every night (it's their bonding time). Maybe we can buy one? I will look into this. We are also going to lose our ocean view and enormous pool area (the new complex has two pools plus a water play area, but they are smaller).

R takes as many toys into the bath as she can (including her baby doll)

Overall I think the new apartment will be nice and we will enjoy living there and having a bit more space. This is the right attitude to take in any case, because we don't really have a choice in the matter!

Life Lately

I don't have anything special to write, so here's some things on my mind lately:

--R started "real" school yesterday. It's in the mornings (9-12) which means slightly earlier days for both of us (she is a late sleeper and almost never wakes up before 8 am, often sleeping in even later). One hour of school is Mandarin immersion. I was nervous about the change, but she had a great time the first day, even though she had all new classmates and mostly new teachers (there are 3). Actually I think she likes the bigger class (she's very social)!

--If I sign R up for the school "bus", I will have 8:30-12:20 or so free three days a week! I haven't had that much free time during the day since she was born. Now that I have reliable childcare (as opposed to occasional help) I can start thinking about pursuing other projects. Some possibilities: yoga/pilates class, studying Mandarin... Hopefully I will start making progress on the 101 in 1001 list again (has been in a slump as of late). R will probably start going 5 days/week early next year, at which point I'm going to look into part time work opportunities (exciting!!!)

--We have to move out of our apartment into the just-completed University housing complex. I hate moving. Luckily we don't have a ton of stuff, but it's still a horrible and time-consuming process (and I will have to do everything as B is too busy). Move-out/move-in date is probably around 20th December (and directly afterwards we will fly to the US, for extra chaos). Our lease here isn't actually up until mid-January, so a lot of finagling is going to be required. At least no international moves are involved this time.

--I signed up for a cooking class with a friend of mine. First one was last night: I made carmelized onion goat cheese tarts, which were actually really good. I might even be able to duplicate them again at home. It's a lot easier to make things when someone is there to tell you exactly what "blanching" and "carmelized" and "julienne" mean.

--My sister is still pregnant (the baby is a week "late" now). I'm sad I can't be there :( but excited, for her and to meet a new member of our family. I hope everything goes well for her and that the adjustment isn't too bad. Sometimes she has a hard time with change.

What's going on with you?

Our Apartment Complex

I posted pictures of our apartment (highlighting my mediocre decorating skills, sadly) a while ago. One of my favorite things about where we live, though, is the surrounding complex.

It's a huge complex (taxi drivers generally know it by name, because so many people live here) of five 24-story apartment blocks. Each story has I think 6 large apartments, so assuming your math skills are better than mine (likely), you can see the complex is basically a small village.

It has its own transport (a free hourly shuttle, which runs from here, to the nearest mall, to the nearest MRT (subway) station); its own store (a very cramped minimart, ironically run by Indians, just like it would be in the US!: they sell basically everything, including diapers, imported wine, and cheesy romance novels in Tagalog--for the maids who live here); and a whole army of employees: gardeners, trash processing people, security guards, pool cleaners, hall cleaners, managerial office staff, and so on.

Let's take a tour! Little R will lead the way...

 This is the pedestrian entry, for which you need a key. I never have mine, so I always go by the car entrance instead.

This is the central patio area. To the left (though you can't see it) is the minimart; down further is the clubhouse (where you can sit in air conditioning and read the complex-supplied newspaper), gym, karaoke room, and sauna (I don't know what's up with this either, considering the outdoors at 90 degrees with 100% humidity is basically already a sauna). Up a flight of stairs are tennis courts and a large outdoor BBQ pit area. (The basketball courts and putting green are at the back of the complex.)

One of the reasons we live here is the pool. There are actually multiple pools (5 I think?), including a children's wading pool. We often go swimming here in the afternoons (midday is just too hot); it's a lovely place to hang out at night as well, as it's cooler and they light it up attractively, at least if you don't have a baby who has to sleep.

There's also a play area, which includes this structure and several small bouncy cars. R loves hanging out here (she is very fond of the slide). It's a little strange for me though, as pretty much every other child who's not Japanese (the Japanese are great believers in parent-only child-raising) is accompanied by their (usually Filipino) maid. I've only seen other parents a few times.

As you might have seen in the first picture, the complex also has a rooftop garden (on the fourth floor, interconnecting all towers). It's a nice place to wander around in as well.

It's pleasantly landscaped and includes tiny (2x2) gardening plots. The waiting list is like 5 years long though, so we don't garden here. There's also a traditional Chinese tea bench (this is a huge untrimmed slab of wood with matching chairs), for picnicking I guess?

There are a couple of small play structures up here as well. Sometimes R and I come here just for a change. They aren't as big, but she is able to climb the entire slide the wrong way, so still enjoys herself.

Preparing to Leave for America

We must be at the airport at 3:30 am tomorrow evening, to fly out to the US for ten days. (We bought tickets on Delta because it was the best deal, but that means having to deal with the terrible American airlines. For instance, bassinets are first come, first serve, so we have to show up early or risk having to hold little R for the entire 17 hour flight. Also: no personal TV. I miss Singapore Air already!)

To prepare for our journey, I have: bought little R two new toys (to surprise her with at crucial moments on the plane). That is it. I actually feel pretty relaxed about the whole thing, since we are just visiting my parents. They have a crib, stroller, and car seat for little R, so we don't have to bring ours (though I think I will bring our stroller anyway, for the flight). And if I forget anything, I can just buy another, since we'll just be in the US.

All the same, I must pack for me, little R and B (I hate his style of packing so I delegated this chore to me). Also, I need to clean the house (coming home to a dirty house is so awful, especially when jet lagged), and finish the laundry and ironing so we have clothes to wear.

In terms of getting ready, a handyman came today to install/fix various things around the house. Finally, we are all moved in! It actually looks pretty good, considering the all-Ikea or hand-offs furnishing scheme. I will have to take pictures once I have time. I have always regretted not doing this at our other apartments (in Taiwan, for instance: it would be great to have better pictures of the deck looking onto the national park, where we used to read Shakespeare to each other and spend hours hanging out. Such a sentimental memory.)

The handyman also did some child-proofing (attaching bookcases to the wall, etc.), as little R is starting to become mobile. I am actually sad about this. I was hoping that she would be a late crawler/walker, because once she is running around her ability to cause havoc and injure herself is going to be exponentially higher. She has started clambering all over me and the furniture, and rolls or inches herself along to reach interesting objects (she hasn't quite figured out how to crawl yet). She is also much more adept with her hands: today she pulled my ponytail holder out before I realized what she was up to. It is really funny to watch her trying to accomplish her little goals: her serious expression as she carries out her missions just kills me.

On Second Thought, I'm Giving Up on Decorating

The apartment is almost all unpacked and organized now (with the exception of the guest room/B's study). In the living room I still need to assemble one bookcase; all the pictures and decorations have to be hung still, and I have to decide where the rugs will go, but besides that, it's pretty much finished. Thank goodness: it was pretty exhausting getting everything organized, especially as I can't be very productive unless little R is sleeping. She actually is capable of playing by herself now (I am so excited about this), but her attention span is still only about 15-20 minutes at most, and she still falls over sometimes (and then will cry until I retrieve her).

I was planning to buy a bunch of stuff and decorate our apartment so that it looked more like a grown up person's house (as in, the furniture is all nice, new and matching: I harbored ambitions of it resembling a magazine to match the magazine-worthy view). But on second thought, I find the idea of doing this unappealing. It is really expensive to buy nice furniture (and I don't enjoy spending large amounts of money); we'd have to do something with the ugly furniture (and just thinking about this makes me tired); and I don't care that much about it anyway. Besides, since most of our living room floor is covered with hideous green pads, (like the ones in a playroom that snap together) so that little R can play safely without constant supervision, how good can the house look? Bonus: I can use all the time this project would have taken on something I like better, like visiting museums or reading.

Instead, the apartment will look like all the other places we've had: cozy, full of knick-knacks, pictures and books, and a little bit funky. Home sweet home!

I Have a Lot of Junk

All our furniture, clothes, dishes and so on arrived from the US today, after many weeks at sea (on a slow boat to China ha ha). As always, what struck me most forcibly about seeing my stuff after a long separation was how crappy it all is. We do have a (very) few nice things, but since we never had much money and were always moving, for the most part it is thrifted, donated by relatives (thanks Mom!) or from Ikea (and was purchased because it was the cheapest version at Ikea). What a lot of junk.

The other thing that strikes me is how unnecessary most possessions are. We survived quite happily for eight weeks without all this stuff. I missed a few things, but for the most part if everything had somehow been destroyed (say the ship sank) it wouldn't have really mattered.

Unfortunately, once I own something, I hate to get rid of it, partly because I paid for it, but mostly because I develop an attachment to it (although it is largely a superficial one, since it's out of sight, out of mind for most things). Now that my stuff has returned to me, the thought of getting rid of one of my many rabbit statues or stuffed animals (I have too many) is painful, even though I didn't miss them before.

B would say that the cure for this is never to buy anything (he is cheap, and also hates shopping for everything except computer equipment). But I really enjoy shopping and getting nice new things, so I'm unwilling to adopt his recommendations. I should enforce the rule of getting rid of at least one thing for every thing that I buy more strictly. (And maybe tossing at least 20 objects this week would be a good goal too.)

I also need to reassess my clothes. I have so many ugly, unflattering clothes because they are still perfectly good. I tell myself I can use them for sleeping or exercise, and then they clutter up my life. Maybe I should only have two exercise outfits, and get rid of the rest. Also, since I sleep naked, and live in the tropics, I probably really don't need multiple pajama/night clothes options. Those should be tossed too. And then I want to think more about what new clothes to get once I go shopping, so that I can look good all the time.

We Won't Live in Cleveland

Two days ago B was pre-offered a different job (as in, they contacted him to see if he would be willing to apply/interview/work there). He turned them down for the time being, which I think is a good decision. However, making this decision has caused me a great deal of anxiety.

The new job would probably pay somewhat less, although the cost of living would also be less (and since B makes plenty of money already, this isn't really an important factor one way or the other). The job responsibilities would probably be the same.

The real downside to this new job was its location: Cleveland. I have never been to Cleveland (or to Ohio, or even to anywhere in the US between New Mexico and New York), but it seems like a hellhole, with really high (violent) crime rates, a poor, disadvantaged citizenry (for example, half of children live with a single parent, most below the poverty line), a dwindling population, and a shrinking economy. Because Cleveland is poor and crumbling, the usual advantages of a city would not be nearly as much in evidence. I imagine that the people who live there are largely either uneducated ghetto dwellers or smug, provincial suburbanites, neither of which would be a population I could fit in with. Also, the weather seems like it would be really bad, with horrible cold snowiness for half the year (I hate the cold). I don't want to live there.

Singapore, on the other hand, has nice warm weather all the time; great food; lots of cultural/amusement opportunities; basically no crime; a really excellent education system; a booming economy; and a very diverse and sophisticated population.

What gives me anxiety about rejecting Cleveland as a potential job location, though, is that at least it's in the United States. Singapore is just so far away from our families (17 hour flight to California); the flight from Cleveland to San Francisco is only about 4 hours. It would be so much easier for little R to know her relatives, and for me to visit them when I felt like it. Visiting from Singapore is a pretty major operation, even for an experienced traveler like myself, since it costs over $1000/person, takes almost a full day, and requires adjusting to opposite time (when it's day here, it's night there).

I don't want to live in Singapore forever, especially as my parents get older and need more help from me. Also, I want little R to grow up as an American (not as an expat child), so by the time she is school-aged, I would want to return to the States. I was worried that turning down Cleveland meant that we were dooming ourselves to living in Singapore indefinitely (of course, this is irrational: B can always change jobs if necessary).

But since both of us very much dislike the idea of Cleveland (and would only move there with the intention of moving yet again as soon as possible), it doesn't make sense to pursue that job. (And moving internationally twice within a year is really unappealing.) Goodbye to Cleveland for the time being! I hope it's the right decision.

Craziness Ahead

The next couple of months are going to be rather intense. B leaves for a trip to Tokyo from 8/21 to 8/24, meaning I will be a single parent with no backup whatsoever (I better not get sick!); he has another conference on 8/25 and 8/26 (though in Singapore) so he won't be very available even after he gets back.

Then on September 2nd, the three of us (B, little R, and I) fly to the United States for a ten-day stay (during which B flies to Boston for a conference; B and I attend a wedding; and I attend my grandmother's funeral). The flight is 17 hours, with a two-hour layover (in Tokyo): I am not sure how little R will do now that she's older and more active.

Once we get back to Singapore, there's a brief break, before our friend A arrives for a visit from 9/27 to 10/5. For the last four days, we are all flying to Hong Kong (including little R). B will then be traveling to Beijing for a presentation, probably 10/9-10/12 or so. I am not sure if little R and I will be going (probably not).

Then, on 10/14, B's father will be arriving for an extended visit (until Nov. 1st). He just got divorced, so he's depressed and needy. He also is a high-maintenance guest in general with a lot of anxiety issues, some control issues (as in he has to be in charge all the time, even when this doesn't make sense), and a drinking problem (he must have a drink every afternoon and with dinner, or he becomes extremely tense and grumpy). B must be at work for much of his visit, so I will be in charge of entertaining him. I am a little nervous about that, since little R has a lot of needs (3 naps, her routine, inability to do anything for more than a few hours straight), and he is also quite needy yet not very understanding of others (he tries, but is just incapable). His trip will include a week-long trip to Bali with the 4 of us.

I suppose after that we will collapse in exhaustion (if B doesn't implode from stress first). At least until December: as we are probably going back to the US for Christmas/New Year. Little R is going to be a well-traveled baby: 5 countries (she and I are probably going to Malaysia with B's father as well) in 3 months.

Writing out this schedule makes it seem even more complicated than I was imagining.

The interesting question is, why did B and I decide that such a schedule would be a good idea? We seem always to live in a constant state of change, stress and complexity. I suppose we must enjoy the challenge?

B and I have already had a pretty busy year.
January: I was heavily pregnant so we didn't do much, especially given my high blood pressure.
February: B interviewed for a job he really wanted(so stressful!!); he didn't get it. I quit my job and gave birth.
March: We adjusted to having a tiny, helpless being to care for.
April: B had three work trips: to two different places in Connecticut and southern California, so he was gone for about 10 days total.
May: This month was relatively low key, except that we were going to be moving to Singapore July 5th, and thus we were both really busy getting ready.
June: I went on a trip to Seattle (without B): little R's first flight/trip. B and I left R overnight for the first time. We got ready for the move (there is so much work involved in an international move it is sickening).
July: Moved out of our apartment (reminding me how much I hate moving); flew to Singapore; B started his new job; we looked for an apartment (and found one eventually thank goodness); moved into this apartment; got visas, a bank account, cell phones, and furniture.

Is everyone's life like this or is it just me and B? I feel like we must be busier/crazier than most, but it's hard to know what the real circumstances of people's lives are. Maybe everyone is dealing with tons of stress/change all the time, just of a different sort.

Singapore Apartment Living with a Baby

View from our apartment

Our new apartment is by far the nicest place we've lived so far: yet another expression of our rise in income status (B's new salary is over twice what our combined income has ever been).

It's funny, though, because even though the apartment is so nice and we have more money, I am not any more satisfied than when we had an income of like $30,000/year. (However, being super poor for that one year in LA when we had about $500/month after rent was really hard and grinding, so there is a limit.) In fact, I am much less satisfied lately, due to the following:
1. stress from moving countries and adjusting to Singapore
2. not having a babysitter or any way to take a break from little R
3. Little R now not being able to sleep well except in her crib, meaning I can't go anywhere outside for more than a couple hours (see #2)
4. B being stressed about his new job
5. and thus unable to provide much support for me in #1-3.

At least we have the necessary furniture, etc. to get on with until the rest of our stuff (currently somewhere on the Pacific Ocean) arrives. This is good because shopping while hauling Little R along is not very fun.

I went to Ikea twice recently, which made me think of That Wife's post about shopping there with a baby. The first time I went with B and little R in her stroller. One of us had to push the stroller, and the other the shopping cart. It was an absolutely awful experience as we stayed too long (3 hours) and little R became very grumpy, requiring us to carry her (and now having three separate things to maneuver). This was especially difficult as the store was quite crowded. Then we could not get a taxi home: we waited there for over an hour trying to catch one, while we were all exhausted. Finally we caught one, but since we had purchased so much stuff, the taxi could not fit both of us. I had to wait an extra 20 minutes for another cab. When I got home, little R was screaming the loudest I had ever heard: she was completely beside herself, being exhausted and hungry.

The second time was two days ago. I went by myself, with little R in her baby carrier (I had learned about the non-wisdom of taking a stroller), and stayed only an hour or so. It was a very painless experience; little R was happy and content in her carrier, I filled up a shopping cart with various items (though I couldn't get everything I wanted, as it would have been too much stuff for me to transport alone), and I got a taxi almost right away (since it was 4 pm).

In neither case, however, did people behave as That Wife describes. Everyone here is very baby-friendly and helpful: people always open doors for me, try to entertain the baby if she's fussy, help me carry bags, etc. In the US, people tended to glower at me whenever I went anywhere with little R, thinking "That baby is going to make noise!" (of course she didn't, she is very mellow). Here the reaction is "What a cute baby! I want to play with her/take her picture/squeeze her little fat legs or cheeks." It certainly makes it much less stressful to go places with baby in tow: there hasn't been anywhere she isn't welcome (so not true in the US). I think Americans are very hostile to children and babies, probably because we are unsympathetic to the needy in general. The Chinese, on the other hand, love children. One point for Singapore!

We Have an Apartment!!

We finally found an apartment, and will be moving into it on Thursday morning (two days from now). I am so relieved and excited.

Our hotel is nice, but is still only one room. Little R sleeps in the bathroom, which is both not at all convenient (since then we can only use it with great care at best from 8 pm-8 am), and not quiet: the wall is very thin and we can hear every sound she makes with great clarity. Since she has been waking up 4+ times/night, this means very little sleep for me. Once we are in an apartment, I can put her back on a good sleep schedule (and do sleep training again), so that everyone can get a good night's sleep.

I am also very excited about the new place. It is three bedrooms, two bathrooms (by far the biggest place we have ever had), and is very nice, with hardwood floors and a clean, modern look. It is also on the 20th floor of the building, meaning that we have a really nice view of the ocean and harbour, and lots of natural light. The apartment is part of a larger condominium complex, with a really nice pool, exercise room, etc., so little R and I will be able to spend a lot of time outside enjoying the climate. And it's close to two parks and a large shopping complex, so I will have places to go to on walks/outings.

I am now planning my decorating. We won't buy any nice furniture (since we will probably be moving again in a few years), but I can still get some stuff from Ikea or similar, to make the place look nice. I've never really had any money before to decorate a house (we always had to go with the very very cheapest stuff, mostly cast-off furniture from relatives), so am looking forward to this, even if I won't buy much yet (since all our furniture is not here yet, much of it being in transit somewhere in the Pacific Ocean).

House Hunting

Today we started the process of apartment hunting. In Singapore, most people hire a rental agent, who then arranges viewings with the landlord's rental agent (and completes negotiations/contract signings). They get 2 weeks rent per year that you sign for (so for a 2 year contract, you must pay them one month's rent). We are doing this as well, especially since we don't know much about the rental market here.

Today we viewed 3 apartments. One was nice; the other two were a little dark but not bad. All three were in condominium complexes, which means that you have access to amenities like pools, a gym, a play structure, tennis courts, BBQs, etc. Also, security is provided (although Singapore is hardly high crime, our agent seemed to think this was very important, due to foreign immigrants from Bangladesh and Indonesia: people here are rather xenophobic/racist).

Unfortunately, all three were too expensive: about $4000 per month for a three bedroom apartment. We receive a housing allowance for the university, but it is not that much! So tomorrow we will look at apartments located somewhat further from the MRT (being near a station commands a premium): our top price is about $3600 at the moment. I hope tomorrow brings better luck!

Trying to Do Laundry

Yesterday, July 12th, was largely consumed in my quest to do some mundane chores.

One of the lame things about moving is that you must reinvent the wheel every time: that is, you must figure out from scratch how to do everything (shop, pay bills, transport yourself, complete paperwork) and where everything is. When you move to a different country, this process becomes even more complicated, and there are always little surprises (like that in Japan, you pay all your bills at 7-11, including your visa fees to the government; or that in China, you must register with the police when you move into an apartment).

So far the move to Singapore has been pretty seamless. But laundry presented an issue. Since we've been here almost a week (and B goes through clothes at an enormous rate, as does little R), I had a bunch to do. Unfortunately, the hotel charges like $5-10 per item. There are very few laundromats here for some reason (there was a laundry at the nearby mall but they also charged several dollars per item), so I had to travel 5 MRT stops away to a laundry located in public housing (next to the main Sikh temple, actually). Even though it was a laundromat with coin-operated machines, it was not self-service (the employee washed, dried and folded everything). However, it was only $10 for everything, so the price was the same as if I had done it myself in San Francisco (it was $4 per full cycle for us there).

Once we get an apartment, this will be a non-issue as we will have our own washer/dryer (very luxurious as we haven't had that before). I am glad about that because hauling all the laundry plus a stroller and baby for half an hour each way was hot and not very fun.

Settling in to Singapore

Strange plant at the Botanic Garden
Street in Chinatown

We have been in Singapore for 5 days now. I feel like we just got here, but perhaps 5 days is a while and I should have been more productive. It's hard to say.

We arrived at our hotel at about 3 am on July 7th. Once we woke up for the day (at about 9 am, since the best way to cure jetlag is to be strict with following the new time zone schedule), we went out to Singapore's main shopping district Orchard Road. B bought himself a smart phone (Samsung) as a present to celebrate his new job (I think he might get some electronics or computers too). It took hours to do and was excessively complicated: B had to show his passport and work permit to get it, for instance. Finally we finished and ate a very late lunch at Din Tai Fung (Taiwanese dumpling restaurant, with chains in Japan, China and the US as well as here). It was so so good, especially the xiaolongbao: I hadn't eaten dumplings so delicious in a really long time (since we were last in Asia). Apparently they have 5 or 6 restaurants just in Singapore, which is very exciting.

Then we stumbled home and into bed.

Little R did not sleep well, however, since now it was daytime in the US, and whined for several hours at the strangeness and injustice of being stuck in a dark room at the wrong time. I could not sleep as a result, but finally we both dropped off to sleep for a little while out of exhaustion.

The next day was Friday the 8th. B went into work on this day (which I got off to a good start by picking a fight with him over nothing: we were both on edge due to lack of sleep and stress). I stayed at the hotel with little R and called various rental agents to schedule appointments to see apartments. We are both very eager to get an apartment since the university only pays for 2 weeks in the hotel (and the cost is over $200/day), and because it will be much more comfortable to have more space. I scheduled several, but then B called me in the late afternoon and told me that we had to use a particular agent approved by the university, meaning we couldn't use any of the people that I had contacted.

I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast because I was sulking, and then little R was napping, so the two of us went out to find a lunch place once I woke up. I walked to Tiong Bahru MRT station: a hot and unpleasant (busy street) walk, and then tried to find somewhere to eat. However, none of the restaurants looked appealing. Finally I chose a Hong Kong-style restaurant, where they basically refused to serve me, first telling me multiple times that they had no Western food, and then when I ordered fried rice, telling me that it would take 25 min to prepare. WTF!! It's only fried rice, one of the simplest dishes ever (takes about 5 min to cook). So I left and returned to the hotel, where I ordered food at their restaurant. It cost nearly $30 and was bad. Also I didn't get a chance to eat more than a few bites, because just as the food came (it was rather slow), little R had a meltdown and I had to leave.Then it took her another hour to go to sleep, as she was so exhausted and grumpy and miserable. Ugh.

When B got home, we went out to tour Chinatown, which is a very cool neighborhood, full of old shophouses and temples, and of course all the food you could ever possibly want. We weren't hungry unfortunately. After our walk, and a stop at a little beer garden for a drink, we returned home. Later on, we left again to find a restaurant, which was very unpleasant at first since I was so tired. Finally we went to the nearby hawker center Tiong Bahru Market, which was actually very good (and cheap).

Saturday the 9th B, R and I went to the Botanic Gardens, which were the best I have ever seen and absolutely beautiful. We all had a good time, and saw a 1.5 foot long blue and green lizard in the shrubbery in addition to many birds and squirrels. Little R enjoyed playing in the grass, and admiring all the trees (she looked at them all with an expression of wonder). We returned home for a break and air conditioning, and went out again in the late afternoon to Little India. Little India seems very authentic (although I haven't been to the actual country), and is certainly most atmospheric, smelling of incense and spices, packed with Indians, many in traditional dress, dirty and disorderly (very unusual for Singapore), and full of henna stores, Indian groceries, and stores blaring Indian women melodiously caterwauling.

We ate dinner there (good but terrible service), and then stayed too long wandering around. I became extremely exhausted and grumpy, especially as my back was hurting, and felt like I was in hell. Finally we made it home and all fell into bed. Little R slept better, only waking up once (and then for good at 5:30), which was exciting as she was beginning to adjust.

To be continued...

We're in Singapore!

So much has happened since I last wrote here. But I have been so busy that I haven't really had time to do so until now.

On the 25th of June B and I went away overnight!!! for the first time since little R was born. We went to California's Gold Country. We stayed here, where we also ate dinner (we didn't like the hotel that much: we stayed in one of the suites which wasn't very nice, but the food was quite good) and ate lunch here. Things we did included touring the spot where gold was discovered, going on a tour of a gold mine (which will be going back into operation soon now that the economy is bad again), visiting a couple of local museums, and touring the little historic towns of the area. It was really nice to be free of caring for little R for a while, and I actually didn't want to come home the next day, although I feel guilty about feeling this. She apparently was quite happy with her grandparents (my parents babysat her), for which I am glad.

The next days were mostly consumed with preparations for our move to Singapore: sorting everything (the Salvation Army came on the 29th), getting final chores done (buying stuff, logistics, etc.), packing (the movers came on the 2nd, and we spent the rest of the day moving everything out that they didn't take), and cleaning (B and I spent most of the 4th doing this). My cousin from Washington came down on a road trip on the 26th-28th (her first trip sans parents, to celebrate graduating high school), and I spent all day on the 27th with her. We visited the California Academy of Sciences (the new museum and space are as awesome as ever: I love the aquarium especially), had tea and mochi at the Japanese Tea Garden, and I took her out to a fancy dinner at Michelin-starred Range, along with my sister. It was fun, since she lives in a small town and doesn't get much exposure to city living.

As B and I slogged through the moving horribleness, I remembered anew how much I hate moving. However, it was much less painful this time, as his university paid about $6000 so that we could hire full service movers. They showed up, packed and wrapped everything (including the furniture) in brown paper, and loaded it on a van. It was so great compared to our other times moving, when we had to haul heavy boxes and awkward furniture all over the place. I didn't even have to pack anything! It will be hard to go back now: spoiled.

We spent the last couple of days in-country with my parents in Walnut Creek, and saw movies on both nights (B wanted to take advantage of our last babysitting opportunities for a while). We saw the X Men prequel and Super 8, both of which I really enjoyed. It is sad that we can't go out together sans little R for quite a while, until I find a good babysitter.

As a result of all this hecticness, we didn't do anything for the 4th of July, not even lighting a sparkler. Usually I love holidays, but honestly I don't regret it at all. It would have been too overwhelming with all the other tasks to complete that come with moving internationally to a unknown country with a four-month old.

On the 5th, we flew out of SFO bound for Singapore. We chose Singapore Airlines, because the airline is very important, especially when flying a long way. American airlines are generally really bad in comparison: Singapore Airlines is so much better. The food is better, the flight attendants are really nice and helpful (even in economy, where we always are), everyone gets their own TV loaded with hundreds of movies and shows to choose from, etc. This meant that we did not have a direct flight. The stopover was in Seoul, Korea (my first time in that country, though it doesn't really count), which seemed a clean, organized place with grim (serious?) people.

Little R was on the whole a dream baby (she slept almost the entire way to Korea). We had purchased her a seat (since the university was paying), and although her carseat did not fit (much to my chagrin) and we could not use a bassinet after all (unless we were willing not to sit together), it turned out fine, since she simply slept comfortably in her own seat between us. B watched many movies, and I slept and watched two movies. She did get restive towards the end of the second flight (maybe the last two hours), but still did not really cry or cause a scene. She is the world's best baby! What a relief (I was so glad she was not the baby some rows ahead, who cried for long periods of the flight).

We arrived in Singapore at 2 in the morning, and after some trouble with locating our stroller, gathered all our luggage (which was a lot: we had 6 checked bags (one was actually a large box=B's computer), 3 carry-ons, a stroller, and a carseat), and took a taxi (actually a large van due to the luggage) to our hotel. It was a really long trip, and we were all exhausted, the more so because Singapore is basically opposite to the US (when it's day here, it's night there).

We are staying at Wangz Hotel, a fairly small and very nice hotel for about the next two weeks (until we find an apartment). Our room has a large and extremely comfortable bed, and is very spacious. Little R sleeps in the bathroom in her Baby Bjorn travel crib (one of the pieces of luggage we hauled). The crib is good: I don't really like her sleeping in the bathroom because then we can't use it fully at night, or I am paranoid about using it (B and I just had a disagreement about whether he could take a shower after working out or not; he took one and it did not disturb her, thank goodness). But it is only a single room, and I prefer her to be in a separate space for both noise and psychological reasons. The hotel includes a free full breakfast (quite good and so convenient, and is a real breakfast, not one of those joke "continental" things) and has a small gym, which we've used several times. The staff are all helpful, polite and friendly. Also, the location is very convenient (about 10-15 min walk to the subway; near everything). So far I give Wangz two thumbs up.

We are finally starting to recover from jetlag to some extent. At first it was not good, and little R didn't sleep much at all (she spent many hours our first full night here whine-crying since I made her sit in her crib when it was night time, even though it was day according to her internal US-set clock), which means I didn't either (lucky B slept through it for the most part, although it was only because he was utterly exhausted, having not slept on the plane: I took Benadryl and was of limited use; he did most of the diaper changes, etc.)

B is telling me to go to bed now, so I will continue at another time.

Moving Logistics

The moving day is rapidly approaching. We fly out of the country July 5th (yikes yikes yikes) and I have a ton of stuff to do. I haven't done that much to prepare for the move, partly because of little R, beyond the essentials (getting her a passport, buying tickets, visa applications, getting moving quotes). So now I really must get cracking and finish all the preparations, especially because I will have little R in tow and thus can't just wing it since she needs stability and comfort.

Things to do: UPDATED 6/20/11
1. Finalize moving quote (right now it's too high, I must negotiate with the movers to bring it down by moving less)
2. Get rid of the furniture/stuff we are not moving: schedule SA/Goodwill pickup, see if my cousin E wants anything
3. Arrange for disposal of car: either my parents or cousin E will get it; I must decide who (talk to parents) and how much to sell it for (it's worth $4000-5000, but I will charge them maybe $1000-$2000); transfer title to appropriate person
4. Find out about necessary shots for little R (pediatrician appt tomorrow), any other health concerns for her (benadryl on plane?)
5. Buy clothes/new wardrobe for B (at least partial, esp. shoes); also, help him get his hair cut
6. Have B square away Stanford student costs, health insurance premiums until July 1st.
7. Get travelers' health insurance for B, me and little R for the first month (or two?) to ascertain that we will be covered until Singapore insurance kicks in: decided not to do
8. Pay my Cobra premiums for June and July (so I'm covered until I leave the country): WORKING ON THIS
9. Make B buy life insurance: should be for at least $1 million
10. Get new driver's license (or at least apply for this)
11. Choose one bank (either B of A or Chase, both are in Singapore) and cancel other accounts; make it a joint account for B and I (discuss w. B if we also would like separate accounts for personal money)
12. Get birth certificate for B
13. Post old stroller on craigslist for sale
14. Get 3 month supply of little R's medicine
15. Make hotel reservation for when we arrive in Singapore: check w. NUS about what they will reimburse (a suite would be better as then little R could have her own space)
16. Arrange for advance from NUS for apartment rental/down payment: this is important as otherwise we won't have the cash: get on it
17. Book appointments with rental agents in Singapore for shortly after our arrival? Discuss this with B (will he have to be at work? I don't know)
18. Arrange for cleaners to come to clean the apartment, as I don't want to deal with this: no cleaners, B and I will do
19. Confirm what security deposit was/how much we should get back(SHOULD BE $1900); arrange with landlord about final week of rent (only paying for July 1-7th: SHOULD BE $475)
20. Cancel PG&E, internet service as of 7/7/11
21. Cancel car insurance, cell phone as of 7/6/11
22. Make a will detailing who gets custody of little R if we die (1. my parents and 2. my sister)
23. Buy new nursing bras (essential), one pair jeans, nice dress?
24. Get hair cut/colored
25. Get nails done before leaving
26. Have B deal with my grandfather's computer (give to parents once he does),

I'm sure there will be more, so I will update this list as I think of it.

I'm Pregnant

I haven't posted anything on here in forever: apparently blogging does not satisfy me particularly. Actually I think it's because things have been so intense and crazy (not in a bad way, just really busy). Since I posted last, I got a job in the Bay Area and moved up here to start it, deciding not to go to Japan for the summer; B and I did long-distance with me traveling down to LA every weekend; we started trying for a baby; B. finished his PhD (congratulations B! you are so awesome!!) and graduated; we moved out of our apartment in LA and into a storage unit (reminding me yet again of how terrible it is to move: I'm so happy it's done); I found out I was pregnant; B left for Japan (just this morning, so I still feel a little sad since he'll be away until the end of September).

Now that B is off in Tokyo and I am settled in here, hopefully things will be more calm and relaxing. I am pretty adjusted to work now, and like it: the people are nice, I am appreciated, the hours and location are good. But I guess things aren't going to be too calm, since now I will be focusing on being pregnant and all that goes along with it.

I haven't seen the doctor yet (hopefully it will be this coming week) or told anyone except B. I really wanted to get pregnant, and was sure that it would take months, so getting pregnant within two months was a pleasant surprise. But it is a little overwhelming, because it's going to be such a change, and because having a new baby is going to be combined with many other changes (like the fact we will be moving to Singapore for three years, or that I will be becoming a housewife, or that B will have a high-powered, high-paying, high-stress job). This makes me nervous about our minds imploding from acculumated stress of all these transitions. There isn't really an easy solution though, since 1. I'm not getting any younger and want children; 2. we are already committed to Singapore; 3. I don't want to work if I have a small baby and if so, then B needs to make the big bucks (or at least a little bit big) and 4. I am, after all, already pregnant. So I will just have to take care of myself and make things as simple for myself as possible, so that I can take care of B and the baby when he/she arrives.

Right now I am focusing my worry on eating right. Reading about pregnancy I see that I am supposed to eat right, and many people list all kinds of dire consequences if I don't. But I don't really understand what is involved in "eating right": everyone seems to disagree, and since I can't cook, it is especially daunting. I wish B was here for this reason alone, since he is both really smart and a fabulous cook, and all I would have to do is eat. I guess the best thing to do is to get my doctor's confirmation and then tell my parents. Since I am living with them while B is away, it will be easy to have them help take care of me (my mom is a nurse and my dad is a great cook who loves feeding me: in my family cooking is a male activity). B told me not to stress about it, that as long as I am not chugging alcohol or taking drugs it doesn't matter that much. Of course he is right, people are too paranoid (after all, my grandmother ate a diet of pretty much only rice during her pregnancy with my father on the advice of a quack doctor, and he was fine). But then I think how guilty I would feel if I had permanently damaged my baby by eating too many jelly beans and I get nervous.

I guess this is good preparation for actually being a parent, when you get all kinds of stupid unsolicited advice/criticism whose main thrust seems to be to make you feel inadequate and guilty. I need to start developing a healthy disregard for parental paranoia so that I don't become one of those neurotic parents who are constantly worried about germs or trauma.

Our New Apartment

B and I finally found an apartment in the eastern side of Taipei, in the Sungshan district. It is very close to a large park, which is known as Animal Mountain Park because its peaks are named Tiger, Elephant, Panther and 9-5 Mountain. 9-5 Mountain is the tallest (374 meters or 1226 feet) and received that name because a 95 year old man climbed it on the fifth day of the ninth month in 1915. There is a rock decorated with calligraphy on the summit to commemorate his achievement. We climbed it already and it is very steep. In parks here, they have hiking trails paved with flagstones, perhaps because it's so wet, and whenever the trail goes uphill, they build steep stairs. Thus, hiking involves a lot of stair-climbing. The park is surprisingly uncrowded, especially considering its proximity to an extremely densely populated urban area, but the Taiwanese dislike exercise of all sorts. They don't like to be outside either, because that results in tanning. White skin is considered very beautiful here and every pharmacy sells numerous expensive whitening agents. When women go out, they always bring umbrellas for shade, and wear gloves to protect the arms.

Our apartment is 107-1 Fu Der Road, Taipei. However, Taiwan has no consistent transliteration system from Mandarin (one large street is spelled Chungshan, Zhongshan and Chungsan variously) and so the road can also be spelled Fu Duh and Fu Te. I think it will be OK if you spell it Fu Der, though. The characters are too complicated to write and I don't know how to type them anyway. The apartment is about 22 pings; a ping is the space covered by one tatami mat and is the area measurement used here. It has two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, a dining room, a living room and a balcony, and overlooks the Animal Mountain park. It's nice but it's built to Taiwanese standards, which means it only has hot water in the bathroom, no closets or cupboards, and no oven, only a stovetop. We bought a toaster oven for baking. We do have air conditioning though, which is very important due to the hot and sticky weather. Our neighbors are very quiet and I haven't heard them at all.

Our neighborhood, like all of Taipei, is very densely populated, so that there are 3 supermarkets within walking distance, as well as a night market, a police station, convenience stores, furniture stores (where they make couches in a workshop, for instance), auto repair shops, a gas station, knick knack stores, restaurants, etc. The apartment is right next to a massive high school, which educates all its students in Home Economics. All students must wear extremely ugly uniforms here, which are either slobby-looking sweatsuits in primary colors or ill-fitting collared shirts and black skirts or pants. Each student is known by a number, which is printed prominently on their uniforms, I suppose to better discipline them. Isn't that bizarre?