Thursday, February 28, 2013

I Don't Like Playing with My Child

R got a bunch of art supplies for her birthday. She didn't have any previously because 1. I am not crafty and 2. making art with her seemed like too much trouble. She was really excited by the supplies though: in fact I semi-hid them, but she found them and brought them to me, asking to use them. So I tried to put aside my laziness and do some painting.
R loved it (though she didn't seem to be that interested in the artistic side of things: mostly she liked the mess aspect). In fact we painted two days in a row at her request.
But what a hassle! I had to undress her, get out paper (and secure it), paint with her (since otherwise she might eat the paint, dump it everywhere, or track it inside), shower her afterwards, dress her, wash all the paint supplies, and clean up the mess. It was probably 20 minutes of painting and 30-40 minutes of prep/clean up.

I'm not sure if I just am incompetent at craft/art projects (very possible), or if this ratio holds for everyone. If this is just how it is to do crafts, I cannot understand how so many mothers exist who are apparently thrilled to dedicate hours of their lives to doing art projects with their children.

In general, I don't play with R much. We play sometimes of course (especially when I'm trying to give her amusement suggestions), but usually, my goal is to get her happily started on some activity, so I can do what I want. Playing with her just isn't that fun because our mental levels and interests are so different: I didn't even like playing with much-younger children when I was a kid. Maybe I'm missing something (or am just a really selfish parent? I 'm not sure), because so many parents talk about how much they love playing with their children: "I could play all day long with them!" etc.
At least R will become good at independent play and amusing herself, right?
She even likes cleaning up (I try to encourage her to tidy up after herself, in hopes that then the great mess she creates will be reduced. So far it hasn't really made an impact.)
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8 comments:

  1. SoleilFebruary 28, 2013 at 11:56 PM

    I think it's time-consuming just because you haven't done it much and gotten the process streamlined. We have an old blanket that we keep for things like this; just throw it on the floor, and it's much faster than taping down paper. Also one paintbrush apiece means not many supplies to clean. My boys hate to get paint on themselves and generally don't do it, so we don't have to do baths, but it looks like maybe you will. ;)

    Personally, I like painting with them, because it's calming to swirl paint around while I use the quiet time to actually think a complete thought for a change. But playing cars/trains is a tough one! I don't have a good imagination.

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    1. GraceMarch 3, 2013 at 10:52 PM

      That's funny, I actually much prefer the imaginative games (I liked them better as a kid too). Partly because then I can see how R perceives things (like when she has the bunny family interact: her take on us, really).

      The sheet is a good idea though: I think I will definitely implement that next time.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 1, 2013 at 1:02 AM

    I don't think you're off about this at all. I personally have four kids...I love them to bits but I acknowledged a long time ago that spending the whole day playing with them is not fun for me! It is selfishness, I would never deny it. However I believe that indulging them in playing with them all day long is teaching them that everything revolves around them - which it doesn't. I try to get one bonding activity in a day, which is generally reading and I do not feel at all guilty.

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    1. GraceMarch 3, 2013 at 10:54 PM

      Sometimes I wish I had more energy because it does seem there are a lot of advantages to a larger family: for one thing, you tend to have a more realistic parenting attitude. But I am too fond of sitting around not being productive.

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  3. KatMarch 2, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    I'm not a big fan of the mess or the hassle of doing a big project like painting. i do love playing with P though, especially at this age. She's probably one of the funniest kids I know (not biased AT ALL). But I've loved playing with young kids since I was a kid myself, through my teenage years, through my 20's etc. It's something i've always loved.

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    1. GraceMarch 3, 2013 at 10:57 PM

      P does seem really funny (just based on all her goofy photos at least!). R is funny too of course but I wouldn't say it's a distinguishing characteristic.

      I guess it's just a personality thing? Because I don't really like goofy stuff in general, so a lot of the humor in toddlers is kind of wasted on me. I am really looking forward to when she starts to ask "Why?" every 30 seconds though: that is definitely more suited to my interests.

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    2. AnonymousOctober 9, 2013 at 8:14 AM

      Grace same here. I am hanging for.all the questions. I suck at imaginative play. I enjoy the art side of things cause I don't. Mind the mess and missy is happy to play at it while I watch so I don't have to be active in the playing. I never know what to say to small kids unless they have a question for me then I am good to communicate.

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  4. AmyMarch 6, 2013 at 12:08 AM

    I actually like projects like this because it seems more constructive and interesting to me than playing with her toys or watching videos. But I agree I find toddler playtime in general to be quite boring. I'm trying to get Nora to have more independent playtime without feeling guilty about "ignoring" her- I think it's harder since I work, I'm always worried the short time we have together everyday and how to use it appropriately.

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