I Had a Miscarriage

I went in for my follow-up scan and prenatal appointment. The news continued to be bad: the baby has not grown at all and at this point my pregnancy is considered a miscarriage. Since I still haven't had bleeding of any kind, I need to have a procedure to remove the pregnancy sac and other byproducts of pregnancy. It is currently scheduled for this Friday.

Surprisingly, I wasn't that upset to receive the news from the doctor, as I already strongly suspected this would be the case, and had already largely worked through my feelings of disappointment and depression. It was more just a confirmation of something I already knew. When I told my mother the news, though, she warned me that I might feel very sad directly after the procedure itself (she had a miscarriage herself, and had a similar procedure, so she speaks from experience), which is something I will be on the lookout for.

Even though I don't feel especially devastated, I am still disappointed. I was really looking forward to having a small baby to love and care for, and to feeling as if our family was finally complete. My main hope now is getting pregnant again as soon as possible, which is the primary reason I chose to have the procedure done (as opposed to waiting for nature to take its course, or taking a course of medications to induce bleeding).

I hope that it won't take too long (since so far I have been able to get pregnant quickly). Thankfully for me, it is possible to get pregnant right after a miscarriage; in fact, there is some evidence that getting pregnant shortly afterwards results in better outcomes. If I am lucky, I could have a baby by the middle of next year: later than I hoped, but still not that far away. This is my main consolation at the moment (besides being able to travel for Christmas with my family in the United States), so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be lucky, and won't have to wait too long for my dream to come true.